Life is not always meant for us to understand...

You're probably wondering why I posted a picture of a "present", but it's a lot more than that. Most people don't know this story, but I've thought about it for a while and something is compelling me to share it. I'm not doing it because I want sympathy or anything like that, but to show that while we don't always understand why things happen, God always has a bigger plan. Four years ago last night, I layed in a hospital bed and delivered a baby girl. On our way to the hospital, we were fully aware that she would never take a breath. Her name was Summer J. Scott, she was 12 inches long and weighed about a pound. We knew at 9 wks that something was wrong, but it was a few months later that the Dr.s determined she had Turners Syndrome. We were told that I would get to about 8 months and her heart would probably stop beating. Although I didn't make it that far, her heart did stop beating. Oddly enough, I knew exactly when it happened. Colt and I had really prepared ourselves for what we had to do that day and although it was just like a normal, induced delivery; in our minds it was more like some type of procedure. I guess that was our defense mechanism. As those months of being pregnant went by, we learned several things. Probably the most important was that it's not always our job to understand why God does what he does. He's God, it's his prerogative and it's our job to determine how we will handle the outcome. They always say that major tragedies will either make or break a relationship and through this challenge, it only made us stronger as a couple. We saw sides of each other that we had never seen and opened up in ways that I never would have imagined. Looking back, I think that God knew we needed something to shake us up, and this is what it was. I also know that at that period in our lives, we were in a financial mess. Things would have been very different for her than they are for Ryder and Sydney and we wouldn't have been able to take advantage of many of the opportunities that were so blessed with today. I say all this because when life has you in the middle of a storm and it looks like there's no clear skies in sight, just be patient. We don't always get the answers, but I firmly believe that we learn the lessons that can lead us to a greater understanding about so many things.

Back to the "present"....Instead of having a funeral, we had her cremated and saved her ashes. We weren't sure what to do with them, but knew that it would be revealed to us at some point in the future. Last spring my mema past away and we decided to bury her ashes with mema. When my dad ordered the headstone, he decided to have her name put on there also; I thought that was awesome. I guess the reason I wanted to write about this was because sometimes I feel a bit of guilt because I don't ever want her to be forgotten, but at the same time it's not "casual conversation" material. I guess her birthday just made me think about it. The flip side to all of this is that God has chosen to bless Colt and I with 2 beautiful children and we both feel that our lives couldn't be better. Our lives go on, business as usual, but she will never be forgotten; it's awesome to know that we will still get to meet her someday!

My baby is 2!!!

Love this picture!!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

It's so hard to believe that Ryder was born over two years ago. He has been such a joy to us and our family and we never expected the last couple of years to be as wonderful as they have been. Now our joy has been doubled with Miss Sydney...life is good :) Ryder had a small party Monday night with our family and he decided on an Elmo theme. I'm not big on characters, but other than tractors and farm animals, Elmo is the only thing he's really taken an interest in. I did my best at making his cake and it actually turned out really well. I have no idea how it tasted because I wasn't about to eat all that clumpy icing, but the kids seemed to like it. I asked his Pappa (Colt's dad) to make his traditional B-day cake and it was great. We've decided that were going to have to buy a bigger house just to hold all his toys. Do they still make small toys? If so, please tell me where. Ryder ended up going home with Colt's parents for the week and it's been so strange not having him around. Granted, I've gotten more done around the house than all of last year combined, but I'll be ready for him to come back in the next couple of days. We're debating taking the side off of his baby bed this week. I think he's old enough, but it may drive me crazy and end up back on the bed by the end of the week...we'll see.
For those of you that new about my grandaddy, he had a heart attack the other day and remarkably is doing just fine. He's already gone home and you would never know that he came near death a few days ago. Knowing him, he's thinking that he's got to much work "around the house" to finish up and it's just not his time. He's a funny guy!
This is random, but I'm going to start posting houses that I have for sale on my blog. Hey, I might as well kill two birds with one stone. If you know anyone looking for anything in the Lubbock area, whether I have it listed or not, just let me know. Anyway, I hope all is well. Have a good week.

A great weekend...

We decided to visit Colts family this last weekend. He has always been very close to his aunt, uncle and cousins, but they live in northern NM and we usually only see them once or twice a year. During the holidays we always get together and have the JLS ropin (Jackson, Lehman, Scott) and were fortunate to get to do that this weekend. Back a while ago, we found out that his uncle Joe has pancreatic cancer and immediately started treatment. I'm so glad that we got to see him this weekend because nobody knows what God has in store for his future. For the 4th, we went over to Eagles Nest and watched the firework show over the lake. It was so gorgeous becasue we were right in the middle of the mountains, no clouds in the sky and nothing but a million stars and awesome fireworks. Of course it didn't dawn on me that capris and flip flops probably aren't the smartest thing to wear at night in the mountains. I don't know what the temp was, but it was pretty dang cold for July. Overall, we had a great weekend with his parents and the rest of his family; once again, it was nice to get out of town.

To be honest, I don't really feel like blogging right now. I feel compelled to mention this, but don't want to talk about it yet. I just got a call from a good friend in Dallas that I used to teach with. She called to let me know that one of my very good friends at school died last night. She's had cancer 5 times now. I don't have much to say, other than I hate cancer and it scares me greatly. On that note, please keep her family in your prayers and please pray for Colt's uncle Joe, too. He's got quite a battle ahead of him. Don't ever forget that we don't know what tomorrow holds, the ones we love may not be with us. Don't take anything or anyone for granted. Now that I've probably depressed you all, (sorry) have a good week.